LXIV.

(the conversation)

i don't know how to love you.

you don't have to. this is about me loving you.

what if it's not? what if i misinterpreted?

love, the days of the law are over.

okay, but some things are better to spend my time on.

your time?

exactly — it's yours — shouldn't i spend it well?

listen, why did i put the law in place to begin with?

"i would not have known what sin was if it were not for the law."

so you were trapped, and i came to rescue you.

was it enough?

o Lord, more than enough —

it took nothing short of my cross.

because you are nothing short of irreplaceable.

did i choose you because you were doing great works?

no. "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

does my love change?

"the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does."

and I raised you up with Christ and seated you with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in 

order that in the coming ages i might show the incomparable riches of my grace, expressed in my 

kindness to you in Christ Jesus.

this is about me loving you.

help me believe it, Lord.

what hinders you, love?

i'm only just learning what love is.

you're not supposed to understand.

but i hurt someone the last time i didn't understand.

still making it about your love.

but jetstream — ?

trust my ability to show you what you need to see. in the meantime, you're exactly where i want you.

not hurting me.

i want to be close to you.

i want to be confident.

this is what it is to be close.

close is trust, not a feeling.

the confidence comes in time.

so be close to people too? trust?

remember how i use them?

it's you and me,

and they take turns.

but pain — ?

it doesn't mean you did something wrong, love.

pain is part of my beautiful world,

just as the wildflowers and the midnight sun.

am i enough?

always.

two years, God.

always.

thank you.